All her life, Fe commanded the respect and admiration of the people around her. She performed admirably as a wig maker, consistently hitting her quotas and earning incentives in the process. Her words carried weight, and her thoughts were highly regarded. When opposing unions at work needed a voice to gather crowds, they competed for her support. She chose neither, but resigned from the company instead, to everyone’s shock. She then took an unexpected yet unsurprising turn—she studied to become a pastor. She was a natural when it came to dealing with people, and her skill in navigating their emotions was respected even by friends who were trained counsellors. Through her ministry and counselling, she touched numerous lives. She was known to be resolute, discerning, and dependable all her life.
But little did Fe know that she was about to go through the most grueling series of trials in her life—trials that would shake the foundations of her faith.
Not long after she gave her life to the ministry, she began to experience numbness in her cheeks, coupled with episodes of palpitations. Initial capillary blood glucose results revealed her blood sugar to be 165 mg/dL, elevated for someone who was not a known diabetic. Yet despite that, she made no adjustments to her diet. She still indulged in the same salty, savory foods she had enjoyed all her life: instant noodles and chips, rice in numerous servings, and soft drinks consumed like water with every meal. She was started on metformin but didn’t take it as prescribed.
It’s very evident that she took her health for granted.
It didn’t take long for the results of her neglect to start manifesting: cataract surgeries for both eyes in 2020; coffee-ground vomitus due to scarring in her stomach in 2021; painful, bloody urination from renal calculi, which required a series of blood transfusions; and a second-degree chemical burn at her IV insertion site.
If we were in her shoes, most of us would be asking at this point, “Why me? Why is the Lord letting me go through all this when I’ve given my life to Him?”
But we forget that Fe isn’t built like most of us.
In all this, she never questioned God. “Ay hindi po. ’Di po pumasok sa isip ko ’yon… ako ang may kasalanan.” She never blamed the Lord for her predicament. “Nagawa ko ’yon. Pinagsisisihan ko ito. Sabi ko, Lord, ‘patawarin Mo ako.’” Many of us would blame people or things for our suffering, but not ourselves. Fe never made that mistake… even when her body was yet to be pushed beyond its limits.
In the months that followed, she contracted pulmonary tuberculosis and developed Stevens-Johnson syndrome, a rare, severe medical emergency that left most of her head and face covered in rashes and blisters. “Naging buto’t balat ako. Bilugin ako dati kasi wala akong control sa pagkain. Pero noong nagkasakit ako, talagang namayat ako. Nangitim ang balat ko at nakalbo ako.” She was also diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, stage 5, and was strongly advised to undergo dialysis treatment.
The human body can only take so much, and even more so when considering the mental toll on the one who goes through all these physical infirmities. Through all this, her husband, Ronnie, stood by her. They have no children, and due to Fe’s frequent hospitalizations, he had to quit his job to take care of her full-time and source funds for her medicines, hospital bills, and their daily needs from friends and churchmates. The once-strong and resolute lady was now perpetually lying in bed, visibly beaten to a pulp, helpless, and seemingly hopeless.
Yet in all this, she never doubted her faith. “Umiiyak lang po, pero di ako sumusuko. Napapagod ako kasi pabalik-balik ako sa ospital. Pero after ’non, humihingi ng tawad sa Panginoon. Syempre may emosyon ako, pero di ako sumusuko, kasi alam ko kasama ko Siya. Kasi alam ko may plano Siya sa ’kin.”
Fe gave no excuse for the situation she found herself in. “Pinabayaan ko ang sarili ko. Inabuso ko ang sarili ko.” She became more accountable to her health, and with renewed faith and a stronger mindset, she made drastic changes in her life.
“Hindi po ako pumayag magpa-dialysis. Tinanong ko po ang doctor ko, ‘Doc, ano po ba kailangan ko gawin bukod sa magpa-dialysis?’ Naging strikto ako sa pagkain ko. Wala nang processed meat. Wala nang maalat. Kapag hinahainan ako, hindi ko kinakain. ‘Pasensya na’ kamo, at hindi ako kumakain ng hindi ko niluto. Wala nang condiment, walang patis, toyo, ketchup.” She also strictly monitored her water intake, keeping it within 1.5 L a day.
“Ang ginagawa ko lang, kapag may inutos ang doktor, sinusunod ko. Kung di ko rin susundin, ako ang mahihirapan. Kung susundin ko, ako din makikinabang.” Sweetest words any physician could ever hear.
And slowly but surely, she began seeing results.
Repeat chest X-rays revealed her lungs to be “like the lungs of a baby.” Her treatments for tuberculosis and Stevens-Johnson syndrome, as well as other diagnostic procedures, were free of charge, as she was the recipient of certain donations. Her skin started to heal; her hair began to grow. Her creatinine, which was initially at 400 µmol/L, went down to 249 µmol/L in just a few months. Her weight went from 65 kg to 49 kg after she changed her diet.
“Hindi Niya po ako pinabayaan. Yung bills ko po sa ospital, mga gamot na P10,000 a day, lagi ako kinakargahan ng dugo, walang trabaho asawa ko. Natutuwa ako sa Diyos. ’Di Siya nagpabaya.”
She would walk daily around the neighborhood as part of her exercise regimen, and the people in the community would marvel at the miracle that had happened in her life. She would visit her doctors for follow-up consultations, and she would often hear many of them say, “Ha? Buhay ka pa? Dati naka-wheelchair ka, ang payat-payat mo. Ngayon may laman ka na!”
Fe with Malou, our External Affairs Officer and Southville International School and Colleges nursing students and their coordinator.
Although Fe miraculously survived an army of trials that would normally cripple the body and spirit of anyone, she didn’t come out of it all unscathed. She currently has left-sided facial drooping, which affects her speech, but this hasn’t kept her from sharing her challenges and victories with the people around her. She may be retired from the ministry, but she still teaches and trains when occasionally asked. To keep herself occupied at home and to earn some extra cash, she immerses herself in another skill she excels at—making wigs. Her husband is back to working as a housekeeper in one of the nearby business establishments.
“Nakita ko ang pagmamahal ng Diyos sa mga tao na ginamit Niya. Wala kaming anak, pero daig ko pa ang may sangkatutak na anak sa dami ng mga nagmamahal sa akin at tumulong sa akin… Maraming ginamit ang Diyos, lalo na ang The Ruth Foundation. Grabe ang paggamit sa inyo. Mapa-mga doctor, nurses, physical therapists, social workers, mga donors, pati driver, ang laking pasasalamat ko sa inyo.”
It seems the Lord wasn’t satisfied to speak through Fe’s words… He had to speak through her life, with all its triumphs and trials. Her life spoke of great faith and God’s sustaining grace. She was unselfish in giving her time, effort, wisdom, and love to others, and when she needed help the most, her investments in the lives of these people yielded dividends.
“2021 hanggang 2026, still alive and kicking. To God be all the glory!”
Fe with our volunteer, Nanette and social worker, Eder.